I’m so worried about Jackson, the poor kid’s too fragile for this. Yeah he’s just a kid really and way too young and sweet for this. I’ll look after him though, I’m Tommy and if I can cope with that fat drunk Roy then I can cope with this.
Jacksons been crying like a little kid and it hurts to see him like that and he thinks he’s hiding it from me but I know. It’s so fucking cold tonight I’m scared he’ll get sick on me and I’ll have to get him to hospital somehow and that can't happen. His parents have prob’ly reported him missing by now so we’ve got to keep moving but Jackson was so tired we had to stop and I made a fire so he could warm up a bit and he practically sat on top of it, got him some takeaway and he stuffed it in his mouth like he was starving.
Dunno how long it’ll be before they find the old fuckers corpse, no ones going to miss him so it could be weeks, shit the place is going to stink something rotten by then. I’ve done the world a favour getting rid of him, just a fat, drunk waste of space and now he’s gone.
Jackson wanted to cuddle, he’s so needy but I really do care about him though I’m not sure if it’s love, shit I don’t even know what love really is. P’raps it’s just caring so much about someone that you’ll do anything to keep them safe. If that’s what it is then I s’pose I do love him.
He got horny and asked me to fuck him, please. I can’t believe he said please but that’s so like him, he’s so gentle and polite about everything so I couldn’t say no even though we’ve got no lube and I had to use spit, fuck condoms though we don’t need the fucking things. I was scared I was hurting him but he kept saying about how good it was so I kept going and came right inside him in the end ‘cos that’s what he wanted me to do, I just can’t say no to Jackson it’d be like kicking a puppy. What did he do to deserve those shithead parents of his? The times I’ve slept over, the two of us cuddled up in his single bed and all we could hear was those two bastards screaming and swearing at each other, I could see it was tearing him apart and time after time I had to dry his tears. And then the cunts forgot his birthday, I mean his sixteenth fucking birthday and they completely forgot it ‘cos they’re so busy with their own fucked up lives, it’s like they don’t even know he’s there half the time. Poor little shit he never deserved all that and then his dad joining in the fuck up at school when he got caught in the toilets. That’s when he said he’d had enough and wanted out, school, home everything fuck it all and I said yes but I had to take care of something first. Well I took care of that, I’m Tommy, I take care of everything.
This is a shit place under the bridge and every time a train goes by there’s noise and sparks shooting down and Jackson jumps with fright, he’s just not made for this sort of thing. We’ve got to move on as soon as it’s light ‘cos it’s not safe here, too near home and we need to do something about these clothes, there’s blood all over them. Jackson says he’s got an aunt in Brighton and maybe we could go there but I’m not sure, she might split on us and tell his mum and dad we’re there and then the pair of us are totally fucked. I think he just wants to get to the sea, some weird symbol of freedom for him, maybe he thinks he’ll find his Titanic there and we can sail away into some romantic, impossible dream. Pr’aps we can just keep going along the coast then, Bournemouth or even further like Devon or something we just need to disappear, be invisible. This has got to work ‘cos I don’t think Jackson can take it if it all fucks up, I’m scared he’ll try to kill himself and then I’ve fucked up completely, I care for him so much it’d kill me if he did that. I’ll sort it all out somehow, take care of him and me and the world can go fuck itself.
I’m Tommy, I take care of everything.
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