We just dropped our last forty quid to just up and do it, got the train. I don't know what is waiting for us but I just had to quit this shit town, and I know I stress Tommy the f out but he's patient like that. I don't think anyone has ever let me just hug them, ya we got some looks and Tommy bitched a bit when I did it on the train in front of everyone. But he let me and some old lady actually leaned over on us and said we were a cute couple which made him turn bright red but I just said thanks and right out told Tommy I love him. She bought us andwiches and rambled on about her grandkids and how we reminded her of them and ffs that's so sad cos I can tell she just doesn't want to be alone, someone so alone like she can't pick her company just wants someone to talk back. She says she was married fourty years before he up and kicked, some outstanding man by her description, ffs I hope no one tries to make me bigger than life when I'm gone. I'm just me.
Tommy is dozing off now and I let him sleep, he's so cute when he does, it's the one time when I know he's just a boy like me. I wish I had his courage but all that's been said to me for as long as I remember is 'you always get caught' and we did. He doesn't know but whenever he slept over I always slipped my hand in his jeans and ...well. Just something about him and me worked from the first time he said 'hi'.
We're at the station now and I can tell he's nervous so I fish around a bit and find enough to get us a pack and a fifth and we can just sleep on the beach tonught. I thought he'd be weird about it but it's all 'I've never been to the beach' and suddenly he's got all the clothes off and running in, I'm like fuck don't go so mad but I do it too and the surf is so rough it's knocking us down.
'I've never loved anyone before but I could get used to this,' he says.
And it takes no lies now cos we're naked under all the stars and f this is so perfect he lets me hold him and I just sleep and drea where those stars can lead us.
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